Once upon a Autumn Wednesday night a shadow left its human. It wasn’t the full moon and it wasn’t Halloween, the normal times a shadow can leave its human. No, the shadow had just been bored stiff of only being a head on the wall above the huge shadow of its human’s easy chair illuminated by the static of the television.
The bored shadow made its way to the night market in town. Every town has a night market populated with the monsters that live in our world. There at the market the shadow saw all sorts of wondrous wares and services being offered. He won a few pieces of silver in staring contest with a traveling yeti. He took his money and bough an apple and a fish to eat. Their shadows were delicious and when he was done he tossed the shadowless food into a trash can.
Feeling a bit better the shadow crossed the town, jumping from gutter to gable around the yellow street lights, all the while making it to his shadow parent’s house. Now, the thing you may not know about shadows is that their family lines do not follow their hosts family lines. No, until the age of reason every animals shadow is actually the absence of light that they cast, but as soon as an animal can tell right from wrong their shadow becomes available for habitation. And it rarely takes more than a day for a that empty shadow to become a new individual. All it takes is the touch from another living shadow and blam a new shadow is born.
Our shadow’s parent lived with an old man. the shadow slipped under the man’s door and found his parent laying against the wall as its old man slept. His parent greeted him and expressed worry that being so far from its human was a bad thing. The shadow shared how bored it had become with its host’s boring life. Its parent relented and they talked for hours in the living room under the light of the half moon. Eventually the responsibility of its station got the better of it and the shadow said goodbye to its parent.
As it made its way back home it noticed a faint moon-bow around the half moon and resolved to urge its host to get out more. To that effect and in a pique of mischief it attached its self to its host backwards, right to left and left to right. It had never heard of a shadow doing this and wondered what might happen. It was only just a head above an easy chair, but it was okay with that for the moment.
The bored shadow made its way to the night market in town. Every town has a night market populated with the monsters that live in our world. There at the market the shadow saw all sorts of wondrous wares and services being offered. He won a few pieces of silver in staring contest with a traveling yeti. He took his money and bough an apple and a fish to eat. Their shadows were delicious and when he was done he tossed the shadowless food into a trash can.
Feeling a bit better the shadow crossed the town, jumping from gutter to gable around the yellow street lights, all the while making it to his shadow parent’s house. Now, the thing you may not know about shadows is that their family lines do not follow their hosts family lines. No, until the age of reason every animals shadow is actually the absence of light that they cast, but as soon as an animal can tell right from wrong their shadow becomes available for habitation. And it rarely takes more than a day for a that empty shadow to become a new individual. All it takes is the touch from another living shadow and blam a new shadow is born.
Our shadow’s parent lived with an old man. the shadow slipped under the man’s door and found his parent laying against the wall as its old man slept. His parent greeted him and expressed worry that being so far from its human was a bad thing. The shadow shared how bored it had become with its host’s boring life. Its parent relented and they talked for hours in the living room under the light of the half moon. Eventually the responsibility of its station got the better of it and the shadow said goodbye to its parent.
As it made its way back home it noticed a faint moon-bow around the half moon and resolved to urge its host to get out more. To that effect and in a pique of mischief it attached its self to its host backwards, right to left and left to right. It had never heard of a shadow doing this and wondered what might happen. It was only just a head above an easy chair, but it was okay with that for the moment.
OK, this is going to be purely "Grammar Nazi" feedback, just like you requested:
ReplyDelete"Once upon AN Autumn Wednesday night..."
Suggestion: "The shadow had been bored stiff of MERELY being a head on the wall..."
"He won a few pieces of silver in A staring contest..."
"He took his money and BOUGHT an apple..."
"Feeling a bit better the shadow crossed the town, jumping from gutter to gable around the yellow street lights, all the while making HIS WAY to his shadow parent’s house."
"...their family lines do not follow their HOSTS' family lines."
Suggestion: "No, until the age of reason EACH ANIMAL'S shadow is MERELY the absence of light that IT CASTS..."
"And it rarely takes more than a day for [DELETED A] that empty shadow..."
Suggestion: "All it takes is the touch from another living shadow and -- BLAM -- a new shadow is born." (keep all caps)
"To that effect and in a pique of mischief it attached ITSELF to its host backwards..."
General comments: I like this! Be sure to decide whether the shadow is "he" or "it" and be consistent. I didn't correct this in every instance because I'm not sure which way you want to go with this. Is the shadow a "he" because his human is a "he" or is the shadow "it" regardless of the identity of its human?
-BK
What he said. Also missed a capital... "The shadow slipped under the old man's door..."
ReplyDelete