36) My Island Vacation

    “My Vacation”
    This summer my parents and I went to this little Greek island without a name. My Uncle owns it and it has an old castle on it. Mom was really excited, and a little weird, when the key to the place came in the mail. It looked exactly like those old fashioned keys in horror movies, big and rough.
    We flew to Sicily the next day. They served sushi on the plane. It was really tasty. I didn’t think I would like it, but after I had the egg one I was hooked. Even the seaweed was good.
    When we landed in Sicily Dad had arranged for us to drive to the coast, not in our normal limo, but in a rickety old truck. It smelled like goats, but I was so tired I slept the whole way and didn’t wake up until we were at the pier. It was already dark and Mom gave me this really cool torch, it was small but very bright.
    I guess the owner of the boat didn’t want to take us to the island because it was just Dad and Mom and I that went out the next morning, really early. Mom and Dad argued about it a lot before we actually ended up sleeping in the boat. He said it would be too dangerous to go at night. She didn’t want to sleep there, but Dad said that eveyone was so tired it wouldn’t matter and it was warm anyways. I didn’t care, I thought it was really cool. I went to the side of the boat and used my torch on the water. I thought I saw fish in there.
    When morning came around Mom had been a clumsy one and had a black eye. She had fallen into one of the winches. I got her some ice from the cooler and tried to make her feel better. The sun was just coming up and the sky was all oranges and purple.
    It took about a few hours to get to the island. Everyone was really quiet. Mom wanted to hug me a lot.
    There wasn’t much on the island its self, not even any goats. I played around in the ruins. I don’t understand why there was a key at all, there weren’t any doors. Maybe it was for something else. I don’t know. Mom or Dad wouldn’t tell me what it was for and I didn’t see it again. Maybe it was magic?
    We left after a few hours. Dad was all dirty like he had been rolling around in the mud like a doggie, but he had a really big smile. Mom was just sad. She’s sad a lot these days. I try to cheer her up, but I don’t know what to say.                            

35) Rob and Helen escape

    Robert continued to fiddle at the combination lock behind his back. Helen had a little of the palsy so she was useless for the fine work. She was, however a great flirt and excellent at distracting the guards.
    The combination lock guarded the janitor’s storage room, the only room with a door to the outside that didn’t have an electronic gate alarm that would go off if they passed through it with their wrist bands on. And the guards were well meaning orderlies, but goddamn it Rob and Helen were getting the hell out of Sunny Homes.
    Robert thanked the dozen odd successful jobs that had afforded him a rebuilt nervous system and enhanced quick twitch muscles in his fingers and forearms. The operation had taken several days and the recovery was murder, but damn if it wasn’t a great investment.
    “Hee hee hee.” Helen’s loud warning giggle came from around the corner. Sweat broke out on Robert’s forehead. He felt for that last click and… Snap! The pin pulled out and Rob jiggled the lock so that it would still look closed, but he’d be able to open it later with a quick flick of the wrist. He tapped his metal cane on the wall twice, the signal for mission accomplished. He had had five minutes to jigger the lock before the next set of orderlies came by this wing for the four o’clock surprise inspection.
    Quickly Rob assumed the position of a lazy old man, hunched over and walked around the corner and back up the hallway to where Helen was flirting with the orderly, Jim or Steve, over a trolley full of romance novels and pulpy science fiction books.
    The orderly said, “Hey Mr. Franklin, howya doing?”
    Rob ignored them both and hobbled on by. He still had work to do.

    Helen kept the orderly busy for a few more minutes, showing plenty of cleavage and startling innuendo just for the shock value. Then she turned around without a word and walked after Robert. She passed the indoor swimming pool where a group of fellow blue hairs were executing synchronized water ballet. She passed the kitchen where she knew that if she were tall enough she could look into the door’s window and see the cooks emptying pre-made meals from large chrome bags into steaming pots to be warmed up. Eventually she walked by Rob’s door. She gave it a quick double tap in their prearranged pattern.
    Rob opened the door with his arms outstretched. She shuffled in and closed the door behind herself.
    They hugged for a good long while.
    Hellen said, “We’ve got to stop meeting like this.”
    Rob laughed.
    She didn’t care about his past, alienated family or not, jail time or not, this was the man for her. Sure he was the only one with enough marbles left to pull off this escape, but he gave such great hugs. Everytime, somehow, she melted into his embrace and the decades melted away.
    “Are you still sure you want to do this?” He asked.
    “Are you nuts? This place is killing me faster than the plague would.” She said, breathing into his chest.
    “That’s not the only thing that’s out there you know.”
    “Look, we’ll get an net-plant and we’ll be fine. My grandson has a trusted site and we’ll know what’s up.”
    “And we’re just going to walk into a Lucky Dragon and get a couple of packs? They take ID at the register. We’ll be screwed.”
    “I can just ask a couple nice young kids to help us out.”
    She grumbled.
    “Leave it to me, we’ll be fine.” She hummed a little tune in time with the strong beating of his heart.
    “I’m not even sure I can still get work.”
    “Are you trying to back out… Mr. Franklin?”
    “Pssft, not even. I just want you to know it’s going to be hard. No more three squares and a bunk. We’ll have to fight for our lives.”
    “We can farm gold if it comes down to it.”
    “Yea, I guess. But it’ll fry out my arms, and… god I’m so nervous.”
    “Wait a second, didn’t you help out with an assassination.”
    “Yeah, maybe.” She pulled back and looked up at his wrinkly face. He looked like an Italian Santa Claus, big white beard and tan skin, bright green eyes with the weight of the world behind them.
    He smiled and said, “We’ll be fine baby. Everything’s going to be okay.” He leaned forward and gave her a kiss on her forehead.
    She said, “Ok, let’s play the dumb old fogies and wait this out.”
    He nodded. She left his room. And they each kept themselves busy for the next hour. Rob put on his street clothes. Helen finished the fractal jigsaw puzzle her great grandson had had printed for her in the commissary.
    Come five thirty Robert Franklin and Helen Egan both arrived at the janitor’s closet and gave each other a soft high five.
    “Point of no return.” He said.
    She pulled open the lock and opened the door for him.
    He nodded and went through, she followed and closed the door behind him. The room was pitch black until Rob turned on his cane’s glow. They meandered through piles of boxes and ladders and complicated looking cleaning equipment. Eventually they made their way to the back door. It was locked. Without a word Rob pulled out two small pieces of metal from his coat, slipped them into the lock. Twist, click, and the door was open.
    Helen stifled a gasp. The early evening sun shone sideways down the small alley. Rob shooed her through, exited himself, and closed the door behind them.
    They held hands and walked down the alley to their stolen freedom.

34) Time King

    Once upon a time a king sat alone on his throne. He was tired and hungry, but dared not get anything to eat because if he did he knew he’d have to go to the kitchen and interact with the help there. He’d gotten so used to being alone that he couldn’t really stand other people. As much as he had been the leader of the ingenue in the court, happily watching courtiers and dukes stab each other in the back, he’d grown appreciative and jealously guarded his time alone to his thoughts.
    So he sat, frustrated and watched the court mid party. Jesters stared up at their juggling batons stuck in the air. Revelers were frozen mid laugh with half eat food clearly visible in their open mouths. Wine was a solid and smooth crystalline sculpture being poured into glasses or splashed around.
    The silence was the first thing he noticed and appreciated when he’d activated the magic wand he’d gotten for his birthday from his court magician. That was years ago, or just now, he wasn’t sure.
    He’d flicked the wand on and delighted at how the whole world froze around him. The first thing he’d done was rearrange his revelers’ food and drink and turned people around. When he’d turned time back on after that there was a great uproar. He had laughed for minutes, longer than any jester or social gaffe had tickled him before.
    For the second time he sat frozen in time for days or perhaps weeks, the sun never changed position so he couldn’t tell how long it had been. For the time that seemed to pass he got hungry much slower, but still his stomach growled eventually. And then he’d go off to the kitchen for a second and grab some food. He’d long ago drunken all the wine at the tables and he’d gone quite sober, that was for sure. He no longer felt a part of his court, their ruddy laughing faces and drunken smiles were beyond him. He felt trapped by his station, his castle, and the things he owned he felt truly owned him. He couldn’t be his own man and he couldn’t go back to mindless partying. He was a King, he realized, not just a figure head of state, but the world truly revolved around him. He realized how much he’d been manipulated by his court to be numb to the world around him. Everything he knew was well filtered through their moral handicaps and prejudices. He realized he had never been a man of the world.
    He put down his crown, took off his grand party cape, took off his ornate buckled shoes, and walked out of the court. They wouldn’t miss him when he decided to turn time back on, whenever that was.

33) Emergency Drop

    Aboard the private jet ‘Banana Flapper’ the senior CFO of Rhenium industries slept soundly and loudly, his snores echoed through the opulent cabin. The sun was shining and the sky was blue, but his body clock was still on Hong Kong time and for him it was three in the morning.
    The jet’s pilot, one Bert Mackelby, was keeping half one eye on the instrument panel and one eye on his latest issue of Pork Weekly when all of a sudden one little warning light went off. He put down the magazine mid article, something about cooking bacon at the base of Mt Everest, and checked the control panel. The warning was a magneto, used for picking up objects that flew along the Earth’s magnetic lines. Usually it was a flock of geese and usually they were well below the plane’s cruising altitude.
    Bert flicked on his communication deck and typed the warning light and his position. The command came back to call Air Support. His closest was hi hub’s air traffic control node in Texas.
    Bert dialed it up and put on his headphones.
    “Texas 1 niner this is Bert Mackelby of the ‘Banana Flapper’, I’ve got a red light on my magneto and she says to call you. Over.”
    The reply came in a beat, “Good Evening ‘Banana Flapper’ this is Texas 1 please state your coordinates.”
    “Texas 1 I’m over the middle of the Atlantic Ocean,” he gave them his coordinates, “And it’s morning here.”
    The reply took a little longer this time. “‘Flapper’ we advice you drop altitude immediately.”
    “Why Texas? What am I going to hit?”
    Just then there was a soft ping followed by several more. Bert looked up and saw a yellow black gooey smudge on the windscreen.
    “Bugs, Banana, lots of bugs. Go now, you should be just entering them now. If you get into the thick of them they’ll clog up your turbines and then you’ll really drop some altitude.”
    “Ten Four. Thanks Texas.” Bert said and closed the com. He flipped a few switches and pushed down on the flight stick. Bugs continued to pitter patter on the windscreen. When he looked up momentarily he could see a black fuzzy cloud ahead. He’d never seen so many bugs before, never even imagined there could be so many in the world. He pushed harder on the flight stick and the plane dove.
    Bert heard yelling from behind him and pounding on the door, that damn executive must be up, he thought. He switched his headset from radio to intercom and said, “My apologies sir, but we’ve hit a bit of turbulence, please return to your seat and we’ll be steadying it out soon.” The yelling continued but Bert returned his focus to their dire situation.
    He didn’t think they had been that low, but the ocean was coming up too quick for him. He yanked the stick back and was pushed violently into his seat. He felt bad for the executive in the cabin.
    They’d shed several hundred miles per hour and several thousand feet of altitude. Bert breathed a sigh of relief. They had gotten past the worst of it.
    Then several warning lights snapped on and a high pitched alarm went off. Turns out the damn bugs had already gotten into the engines. Bert watched as the fuel gauge started to fall too. He swore and crossed himself. They were probably toast. He switched on the emergency beacon and spoke into his microphone, “My apologies sir, but we’re going to have to make an emergency landing. Please refer to your emergency instructions in the side pocket and assume the proper positioning. This may be a little rough.”
    Bert pulled back on the stick and tried to get them some altitude. For a moment through the light dusting of clouds he could see a dark green smudge on the water, but he couldn’t tell what it was.
    Quickly the engine gave out and the fuel red lined. He said, “How running into bugs busted my fuel line I’d like to know. Damn-it.”
    The engines gave one last sputter and then the plane began to dive. Bert expertly crashed into the water. It was rough, but decent enough. He made sure the emergency beacon was still going, grabbed his pack, threw on a life jacket and went back into the cabin.
    The whole place was a mess. The stupid executive had obviously not read the information brochure on what to do in an emergency and panicked. His suit jacket was on one side of the room and his pants on another, and he was laying quietly face down in a pool of his own blood and sea water.
    The plane tiled and swayed. Bert quickly kneeled down next to the executive and took his pulse, there was none.
    He buckled up his pack and opened up door and dropped the door down into the water.
    The day was beautiful, warm and sunny, water lapped at the bottom of the open door.

31) Thor and Daisy

    Thor was the only son of the local fool, Stephen. The poor boy’s dad was always in and out of jail for some shenanigans or another, be it petty theft, larceny or dealing drugs. This was fine with Thor he didn’t mind being alone. In fact he loved it.
    Then one day Stephen found religion and that all changed. He became a model citizen and came down hard on Thor for refusing to do his homework and for staying out late. Soon Thor had a curfew and he was miserable.
    Even so, it got worse. Stephen made them go to church. By that time Thor was resigned to his fate and stopped struggling outwardly. Inside he was still scheming.
    Then one Sunday at church Thor caught sight of the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen. Her name was Daisy and she and her family had just moved into town the week before. Sadly she wasn’t in that week’s Sunday school, but Thor kept a keen eye out for his angel.
    He need not have worried about keeping an eye out for her because she was in his homeroom class the next day at high school. They instantly hit it off. She loved his wily ways and crooked smile, he loved her curly blond hair and light sprinkling of freckles.
    They spent their after school time together and Thor would sneak off into the night to meet her in the old cemetery. Eventually though Thor’s Father got wise to his son’s midnight excursions and nailed his window shut, then locked the boy’s door from the outside, then started homeschooling him. Poor Stephen had associated all of his problems with women even though they were really his own poor judgements.
    Eventually Thor and Daisy conspired to run away. Daisy told Thor that her mother was secretly a witch and that she knew the perfect spell to carry them away so they could be free to love each other.
    After drugging his father’s dinner Thor was able go see Daisy for the last time, hopefully forever.
    They met in the cemetery with dancing flashlights. She handed him a small pill, it shone white in the light. She had one of the same and told him it would change them so they could fly far far away. She pulled out a small bottle of water and they both swallowed their pills.
    Quickly they became sleepy and barely five minutes later they laid down together against the giant gnarled oak. As they slept their bodies changed, their limbs shortened and split and hardened. Their heads smoothed over, antennae erupted from their foreheads, their jaws turned into sharp mandibles, and they shrunk under their clothes.
    When the sun came out nothing was left of their old life but a pile of damp clothes. There from which emerged a pair of particularly large beetles. They shuttered and sang, they rubbed their shells together in joy. They flew off into the sunrise full of love.

30) Coyote's Lightning

    Once upon a time, closer to creation than we are now, in the desert a wasp, fresh from her first flight and mated, alighted on a dead fish near a stream for a nibble before heading out to find a nice place to build her nest. She was digging into the delicious flesh when the sun and sky were covered with dark clouds. Rain to a tiny wasp can mean drowning, so she took a moment to carve out a chunk of flesh to eat later. She realized she should have taken off earlier when the tiny hairs on her body began to vibrate.
    Without warning a single bolt of lighting, enough to knock out a horse or several men, crackled through the air and landed on our poor defenseless wasp.

    Nearby, the son of the first Shaman was in trance communing with the spirits when he felt the darkness gather around his small tent. He said goodbye to his ancestors and returned to his body. He creakily unfolded from his sitting position and walked out of his tent.
    The sky was black with thunderheads all the way to the horizon. He took off his loincloth and headed out to the stream to wash in the coming fresh rain. As he was walking a huge bolt of lighting struck dead ahead of him. He was blinded for a moment, the jagged light the only thing he could see, even with his eyes closed.

    What neither the Shaman’s Son or the Wasp knew is that is was not the thunder god that threw the lightning, but Coyote. He had snuck into the thunder god’s house and stolen a single bolt from the larder of the great thunder god. Coyote had gulped down the lightning into his stomach.
    It rumbled and stung and Coyote ran as fast as he could to Mamma Baba’s hut on the edge of the country of the Gods.
    He scraped at the door with his paws, urgently until Mamma Baba came out. By then the lightning had cut up his insides and the poor Coyote was bleeding from his mouth.
    Mamma Baba said, “Oh you poor coyote. What stupid thing have you done now?”
    Coyote rushed in, looked around and spied Baba’s large metal cauldron. He ran up to it and barfed up the lightning. It crackled and hissed as it spun around franticly in the pot.

29) Tino Helps

    Joseph hung on tight to the falling star. They crashed through layer after layer of atmosphere. The heat generated was amazing, but still within limits. As they neared the five mile mark Joseph gave the burning rock a kiss and jumped off. He slowed quickly and the meteorite flew on and broke up in a beautiful spray of sparks and ionized gasses.
    As he was heading back to the Van Allen belt to grab another asteroid in his link rang. He alighted on a passing communications satellite and connected to his caller.
    There was a slight pause and a mechanical voice came on, “This is the voice of Operations. Dear ghost number seven-aught-slash-slash-nine-alpha your provisional license to haunt has been suspended due to technical circumstances. No appeal will be entertained. Please see your adjunct supervisor for assistance in this matter.” Click.
    Joseph was dumbstruck. He rode that satellite for hours, screaming and crying into space. But no one could hear him. Eventually he gathered up his protoplasm and headed back home to the dark side of the moon. By the time he got home he was resigned to his fate.
    He landed on the moon and crept down into his crystal lair. The quartz comforted him enough that he could trust his voice not to break when he called his supervisor. The hard edges and angles reminded him of the white light.
    He took a moment, focused on the other ghost’s scent, and the line opened. It rang a few times and the Rainbow Beetle God Tinalhiuk picked up.
    “Click click buzz?” Tinalhiuk said.
    “Hey Tino, it’s Joseph.” Joseph said.
    “Buzz buzz.”
    “It’s okay. No, not really. Operations just called and told me my haunting license was revoked.”
    “Buzz whirr click click click.”
    “I know, right? But it should be okay. I can just appeal in thirteen months, right?”
    “Click buzz, buzz buzz.”
    “If you think they could help, yea, that’d be great.”
    “Buzz buzz, chirrup.”
    “Thanks a lot Tino, I’d really appreciate it. You’re the best.”
    “Buzz click.”
    “Ok, bye, thanks!” And they hung up.
    Joseph was ecstatic. Tino had said he knew some spores high up in the Operations network that could maybe get a vote of no-confidence on his suspension and get a technical appeal. Now all he had to do was wait.
    He sighed and crawled in between the craggy crystals and hummed along with their vibrations as he waited for Tino’s friends to do their stuff.